Written by OLAOMI, O.C.
Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, their coming together to become one. Beyond the biblical and moral aspect of marriage, there is more to it. It is a really a big deal. Two separate individuals from different family background, upbringing, social and moral views and different perspectives to life. One big deal about marriage is that it does not expire, at least it’s not supposed to ‘Until death does them apart. No one prays to die young, so your marriage lasts as long as your life does, unless you walk out of it at some point or your spouse, God forbid, either walks out or gets taken by death.
Beyond the few years of courtship and the ‘big day’ of the ceremony, when everyone departs, you will be left alone with your spouse, then the reality begins to dawn. Then you’ll be having these conversations with yourself: I’m no longer single, I can’t go to my parent’s house as often as I wish for vacation anymore – there’s no vacation from the matrimonial home. You’ll become a guest in what used to be your bedroom in your father’s house. The lovely decorations, paintings, and arrangement will become sweet memories.
In your “new” life, and trust me it’s brand new, greater responsibilities await. Your spouse, children, parents, in-laws, siblings, new friends, new neighbours, new colleagues in some cases all come into play, a new life indeed!
Singleness actually means what the word connotes. Single, not accompanied by anything else, not divided in parts, designed for the use of only one. Only You! You can decide not to cook if you don’t feel like eating, remain in bed after 7a.m if you’re not going anywhere, decide to travel to see family or visit a friend as soon as you so wish, or wear anything so desired. The list is endless really!
Now that the wedding bell has been jingle, things have changed from ‘I’ to ‘We’. If you’ll be making any decisions for yourself, you’ll have to consider others. If it’s not good enough for them but very good for you, you may have to drop them. Now, this is part of the big deal. It is as serious to the extent that if you want to consider getting an extra degree or advancing a career, a long list of sacrifices for spouse and children have to be considered amongst other things, Sacrifices that were non-existent before marriage. Every lone decision you’ve known how to take now has to be subjected to a panel of at least two!
You can no longer put on any cloth you deem fit or find most comfortable especially when nursing a baby as a woman. You can no longer get up at any time you deem fit or snooze the alarm eight times till you yawn out of bed.
Baby’s needs must be met (when you begin to have little versions of you running around), no excuse! What about your spouse? You must look good for him/her. No excuse as well! He deserves to wake up to see his beautiful bride everyday. His gorgeous, beautiful and charming girlfriend turned wife. She deserves to keep seeing that fit, agile and energetic boyfriend turned husband, not a lazy bag of bones. So many responsibilities that you must live up to really.
The kind of home you desire, you must build it in marriage. You cannot find a ready-made marriage to buy in the market! You may think of getting a help, but if your marriage will be successful there are some things you still need to do by yourself. A maid or help is just there to provide help or aid, not to substitute you or make you irresponsible.
Beyond all these challenges however, it’s about the best thing that could happen to you. You love someone who loves you back, nothing beats that. You live in an atmosphere of love and care. Your dreams are coming to fulfillment, you have someone with whom you can share your cares, worries and concerns. You have a happy home to go to everyday. What could be more fulfilling?
Enjoy it as long as it lasts bearing in mind the deal it entails.
Remember to prepare for it and enjoy every bit of it. I can only wish you a good marriage that lasts forever!